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Transcription: Arlene Interviewed On Fox News 29 in Philadelphia

3:56 Minutes

News Anchor 1: It’s a relationship news this morning!

News Anchor 2: There’s a lot of it! I’m reading all of this stuff… all this marriage news!

News Anchor 1: There are two different studies out this morning. One is saying divorce and also losing your job could be the two biggest setbacks to your happiness in life, saying, well people who got divorced just might say “Wait a minute! I think I’m happier now that I’m single!”

News Anchor 2: Alone. Right!

News Anchor 1: But they’re saying “Many studies have taken into account these big emotional changes that you feel in your life, and it could have long term effects!”

News Anchor 2: Which isn’t surprising! And we were talking about this in the meeting yesterday, I think a lot of people say “Well, I’m getting divorced, I’m walking away! I’m upset!” Or you know “I’m getting fired. I don’t care!” But it turns out, you know inside it does matter! It takes an emotional toll in the body.

News Anchor 1: And another study as well in this relationship topic that says “You know what? If you’re sleeping in separate bedrooms, and you’re married, you could be having some troubles as well!” Let’s bring in therapist Arlene Foreman to sort all of these craziness out for us this morning in these relationship stories. Good morning to you!

Arlene: Good morning!

News Anchor 1: Okay. So first of all, sleeping in separate bedrooms and you’re married, is that setting up for failure later?

Arlene: Well, for me the point of marriage is to feel good, and to feel good, I’ve got to maintain the Oxytocin hormone in my brain. And the way to maintain it is cuddle, hug and touch. If we’re sleeping in separate beds, that’s kinda hard.

News Anchor 2: You know, I was reading up on this study, and while we’re talking about sleeping in the same bed or what have you, so many people (I don’t wanna go off on a tension), but so many adults snore, and I think the reality is people are so busy these days they just wanna get a good night’s sleep, and if you’re sleeping next to someone who snores, you know, you just can’t handle it! So people, I think 75 percent of adults they say, you know, snore. So some people just end up going to separate rooms.

Arlene: Um, that’s okay if you need to sleep because somebody snores or whatever. But at least, get in the same bed before you go to sleep and cuddle, and maybe even wake up 10 minutes early, and get in the same bed and cuddle before you get your day started so you got your Oxytocin going most of the nights and during the day.

News Anchor 1: Hopefully my mom will listen to that because you know, my dad snores so loudly, and half the night, I think she has to hit him in the rib. So mom, if you’re watching, at that point get out of bed and go sleep in the couch for a little while! Let’s talk about this other study Arlene. It’s interesting that’s saying divorce, people might be repressing these feelings if you get a divorce, and mainly, to some sort of emotional damage later in life?

Arlene: You know, you ever hear of the saying “Everything changes and nothing changes”? If you’re getting a divorce and you just change the place you live in and the partner, and you didn’t change your skills, the way you relate to people, of course you’re still depressed or you still have the same problems. That doesn’t happen to my clients, whether they stay together or they get divorced, they learn new skills and they have a better sense of how to connect to people. So it works for them, either way.

News Anchor 2: A light bulb just went off! I promise you that that makes so much sense!

News Anchor 1: True!

News Anchor 2: I guess that’s why some people keep getting into these bad relationships because they aren’t changing.

Arlene: That’s right! And take the same kind of people, nothing changes!

News Anchor 1: And what about losing a job? Really quickly – losing a job, you’d say, “I was fired, I don’t care!” Do you really care?

Arlene: You know in this pocket I care and it’s devastating, and in this pocket it’s an opportunity. And I’ve had many people who have been devastated and crushed, and a year later, saying “Oh my God! That was the best thing that happened to me!”

News Anchor 1: Alright! Arlene Foreman, therapist for us. Thank you so much this morning. We appreciate it!

Arlene: You’re welcome.

News Anchor 1: It’s true! You know, you think about those books, I got fired, double trumped, all those other people that say “I got fired!” And you need some of this in your life.

News Anchor 2: Maybe that’s your sign to try something new.

• End of Transcript