A Center For Marriage Counseling
It’s Never Too Late To Save Your Relationship If Both Of You Are Willing To Work On It
Rekindling the love in your relationship and making it work is possible when you are open to change.
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Click above to hear how we work with couples to help them repair their relationships.
How can you restore the love you once had?
Experience has taught us that the biggest predictor of a marriage at risk is when a partner feels he or she is being constantly “put down” or dismissed in conversations. The put-downs can be very subtle or framed as jokes. And the dismissiveness can take the form of not responding to questions, staring at an iPhone and grunting, or just cold expressions that imply your desire to talk is a burden.
To save your marriage, you must begin by giving each other empathy and respect. You must learn important communication skills. The small but persistent hurtful things that are said and done can seriously damage the fabric of your relationship.
We can guide you even if your partner does not want to participate in counseling.
We’ll teach you new ways to interact with your partner that can make you both feel closer. Often, when one person changes, the other person changes too.
Nobody wins a power struggle
Stay focused on behaviors that make you feel closer, rather than be engaged in a power struggle in which each tries to prove he or she is right.
A little appreciation goes a long way toward healing years of emotional pain.
Researchers have found that by the age of five, the average child receives five thousand “yes’s” and forty thousand “no’s!” Most people aren’t accustomed to receiving enough appreciation. As a result, they are not always adept at showing appreciation either.
When we give couples a homework assignment and ask them to each express five appreciations a day, they usually return to tell us the exercise has helped them enormously.
When our clients tell us their hearts are broken, they’re not just speaking metaphorically.
The stress of a troubled marriage can lead to heart disease, high blood pressure, depression, and cancer. That’s because when couples constantly bicker and fight, adrenaline and cortisol levels soar. These hormones surge during emergencies. It’s what happens in the familiar fight-or-flight response. In an emergency this response is necessary for survival — on a daily basis, it can lead to illness.
When your body is in a state of high tension day after day and year after year, the effects can be devastating. Your body takes a beating.
Successful marriages are the result of a couple intentionally behaving in a way that every decision they make is to preserve, enrich and enhance their marriage. They have a common vision for this marriage and a common belief system of how to get there.
We’ll teach you excellent communication and problem-solving skills.
When confronting your partner, you’ll both learn to speak in a softer, kinder tone of voice. Statements like “you, you, you!” only make your partner feel angry and frustrated. Instead, try saying “I feel,” and “I would like,” but remember, keep your partner’s dignity intact. Once you change the way you communicate, you’ll find that your partner responds differently too.
We’ll teach you what to say and do to keep the argument from escalating.
Soon you’ll learn how to resolve conflicts more easily and will find them far less frightening.
You both will learn how to:
- Understand and comfort your partner even when you disagree.
- Tell your partner what you want instead of expecting your partner to know.
- Stand your ground when it matters.
- Show support for your partner’s goals.
- Listen to your partner with your heart.
- Show affection.
- Heal each other with LACE (Love, Appreciation, Compassion, Empathy).
- Understand how a sincere intention to change can make a significant difference in your marriage.
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The pain of infidelity can be overcome with good counseling. Click here to learn more.
Arlene Foreman M.S.
Relationship Counseling and Couples Counseling
“As usual, Arlene Foreman is one step ahead of everyone else. Her thinking is brilliant, intriguing, and thought-provoking.”
— Constance Linn, M.D.